Awe

Oh, fuck. I'm so smitten.

I just heard this here.

"And I can't become my father when it's all been said and done
His completions won't complete me
I've divided me by one, I'm the answer to his riddle
I'm the caution of his wind
I'm the spoon wedged between tongue and teeth beneath his trembling grin
And I dare add my revision for I dare not suffer twice and I dare not reinvent the past
And I dare not be the Christ and I welcome any sufferer
And I welcome any Saul
Sitting in this room, on wooden bench, waiting for Joi to call
And I suffer here alone, Lord
Perturbed by my every thought
How I've tried to strip them to the bone I've struggled and I've fought
Every jealous warped intention, smuggled, sewn into my genes
Every hidden mongrel tendency exploiting me in me


Each time I put them under but still they wanna test me
I cry out through the thunder...
You storm right past me...
I search and I ponder...
I question and wonder... I roar and I thunder, please, let me in


I've been waiting here for what now seems the better of an hour
I've raised every crippled question from the dead and given power to the absence of my sanity
The presence of a fear that lies in between forgotten dreams that pile up every year
Up above the highest testaments, down below the wooden floor
There's a gutted room, pitch black at noon, beneath a hidden door
Deep within, you'll find the attributes of every sunken man
Who must bang his head against the dead each day he tries to stand
And he's standing pressed against the very woman that he loves
Kissing eyes and lips, embracing hips, surrendering to her touch
And just at the very moment that he touches heart to heart
She pulls from his touch, 'cause it's too much to mend what's torn apart


Each time I put them under but still they wanna test me
I cry out through the thunder...
You storm right past me...
I search and I ponder.
I question and wonder... I roar and I thunder, please, let me in


It's so hard to be the man I would be if hatred and fear no longer appeared
I swear I've become the skin of a drum, the heart of a man, divided I stand"

Skin of a drum, Saul Williams

With the questioning and the awareness and the passion and intensity and the calm and the storm and the contemplation and the explanation and the acceptance and the anger and the tears and the uplifting ecstasy, there is closure.

I love you, Saul.