Seeing Red

Like a friend mentioned, now is when you feel them seeping slowly from the TV screen into your own lives. Changing things you don't want changed, altering them beyond recognition, marring them outside of your control, while you sit and react differently, each and every one of you, whether you speak or turn away, whether you cry or stand stoically, whether you shrug or mourn, every single one of you is affected.

Here are mere boys who want to give up their lives so mindlessly. Who have stormed into our lives and destroyed something vital.

And will anything bring our dead back?

Thanks Giving

Sometimes things need to go horribly wrong for you to realize exactly how much is right - read something to that effect on a book cover the other day.

Anyway, that's not what this post is about. I am writing this to show you the appreciation I never verbalize. I need to do it now, and you need to hear it.

You - have always been my best friend and worst critic, however cliched that might sound. I value your unconditional love, I am scared of losing you, I feel guilty for not listening to you.

Throughout it all I love the fact that you are the serene and wonderful soul that you are. Thanks for giving me perspective, and immense love and support. I love you, Mom.

And there are the friends.

You, who put yourself in between - which is incredible because you don't do that. I see the enormity of it now, especially after you also understood when I messed up. I love you so much, and I want you to know that I'm always here for you. Always.

You, who don't even know me that well. And your friends. You guys are really special people. I am looking forward to knowing you all, especially you who are so strong willed and compassionate. Our times together have meant a lot, and I hope there's more where that came from.

You, who has gone through worse and taken it much better. You're so strong, and I am proud of you.

You, the grounded one, who supports everything I do, right or wrong.

To the ones who have cared. Thank you.

And now I know what you meant

"Coming Back To Life"

Where were you when I was burned and broken
While the days slipped by from my window watching
Where were you when I was hurt and helpless
Because the things you say and the things you do surround me
While you were hanging yourself on someone else's words
Dying to believe in what you heard
I was staring straight into the shining sun

Lost in thought and lost in time
While the seeds of life and the seeds of change were planted
Outside the rain fell dark and slow
While I pondered on this dangerous but irresistible pastime
I took a heavenly ride through our silence
I knew the moment had arrived
For killing the past and coming back to life

I took a heavenly ride through our silence
I knew the waiting had begun
And headed straight..into the shining sun

Pink Floyd

PUSH

Eight steps till I reach the summit, my line breaks and I fall down the rocky terrain
My bones are broken into pieces, my mind can't wait to get up and do it again
I can feel I'm getting stronger, the longer I'm pushed to the limit...

(Someday is now - the Scorpions)

"You never bend, you never break, you seem to know
just what it takes. You're a fighter
It's in the blood, it's in the will, it's in the mighty
hands of steel. When you're standin your ground.
And you never *give in* when you're back's to the wall
gonna fight till the end and your taking it all."

(The Touch - Stan Bush)

"Easy to bitch/ Easy to whine/ Easy to moan/ Easy to cry/ Easy to feel like there ain't nothing in your life

"Harder to work/ Harder to strive/ Harder to be glad to be alive/ But its really worth it if you give it a try"

(Easy - Cowboy Mouth)